everything is gonna be okay now (:

im not gonna dwell on it any longer. not gonna think abt it and be emo anymore. im gonna act like nth happened this past 2 weeks in school.. and if u havent been reading u wudnt notice a thing (:

good luck on whatever ur goin into... and go be happy! (:

okay okay... yeah im okay now. xD good times again.

hmm. i come online then i see people's tag and msn ppl askin me dun be so sad. haha... then i start gettin this weird feelin... haha. at least that weird feelin is happy. (:

hmm... self pity will only eat u from inside. i guess thats true... mayb ive been thinkin negative too long. gonna start be like last time... be optimistic. haha...

yesyes clarence u wan to know abt my class. maybe next time xD

sometimes i wonder whats so good about me.
why u bother to call me ur grandpappy... not that its not nice.
just that... what so good abt me.
why do u even bother to call me to play..
why u call when i miss church.
or school.
why u clap when i score for maths.
why u smile at me.
why u talk to me.

i think without school and church i will die la... too much for me to handle without God.

i really transfer school... stop seeing everyone... then enter the new school and keep my head down so ppl dun notice me.

yeah. im appearing offline... what use is there in being online. at the end of the day i feel better but the next day is the same thing.

true im smiling and laughing in school. but do i really remain that happy... do i really like it when i go out with all of you. well to a certain extend yeah i do... but it lacks sth.

it will forever be like this. until something happens. until Y.E.R.O.A.M. nobody would understand this. but maybe you do... then tell me sth. please. im not really as happy as u think i am.

i think ive said enough.

that feeling is fading slightly. slighly... its not enough though... either it should fade completely or not at all... now its faded i want it back... :/

i really wish i could go back to sec 1 again.. and do everything right... then i wont be like this... i think i actually could be happy. and maybe i wouldnt have to go through all this.

i dont know if u understand haha... if u dont... then good for you and just continue doing wad ur doing... no sarcasm this time. :/

just dont break my heart (:

five minutes to midnight acoustic version im not playin that song cos some of u probably wont like that song...

that song reminds me of you. i dont know why... it just does. u cant blame me right... turn it up, its five minutes to midnight i just miss you. everything... it may not be much but... well.

i really really think theres a problem with me.

i dont know wad to say la. dulan :/ i think i posted too many posts abt u alr. sigh.

ppl ask me abt this. i say i dun want to talk abt it. they pressure me to say. nah. i only talk abt this stuff to ppl i trust... and FYI theres only 2 ppl i trust now. one is in church.. one in school. balanced (: so if you think u can be trusted. yeah well...

its hard to earn my trust (:

before i get emo again and post nonsense... i shall go play for once. bnet la. wad were u thinkin. maybe that will get my mind off things for today...

yeah

i shall make my 100th post a nice one (:

nice day today. its wasnt the service in church.. it was on the bus. at first it was a normal bus ride.. then started the singing. felt so good lor... its like u get a few of ur best friends that have the same interest as you and maybe are emotional also... then u start doing wad u like... like playin or stuff.

a few boyslikegirls songs.. mcr.. some others. the feelin is the best... i nv wanted it to end (: just me and josiah. nice. and no, we're not gay. :/

congrats ewen on the baptism !! too bad u came out of the water still as black as u went in xD

journey back i was thinkin of stuff again... but i dunwan to post that (: that emo stuff is shit and i wont ruin this happy post.

lan when we came back... perfect game. no mistakes. owned thad and sam HAHAHAH xD

talked crap at macs after that... well not really crap la. just the usual stuff... and ate dinner there.

852 with andreas back home.. he had to go to some reunion dinner. cool sia... dinner in january. haha... slacker. army MC for 3 weeks or sth. o yah ivan's bald !!

and i got 3 new taz pics. with my names. hah their nice... except the one with the pink skin and green eyes. that one is the nicest !! (:

happy 100th un-emo post derek!